


When I'll see you again

by greenbutts



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenbutts/pseuds/greenbutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Moriarty has been friends with Sebastian for as long as he can remember. He knows him so well, yet he doesn't know about that one secret Sebastian has kept from him all this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I'll see you again

**Author's Note:**

> A short drabble I wrote after coming up with this AU idea. :-)
> 
> Thanks to Beth who helped me a bit and encouraged me to write a fic again!  
> I apologise for any grammer/spelling mistakes I might have missed.

“Sebastian.”  
“Hmm?”  
“Don’t you ever go home?”

The brunette glanced over his chemistry book at the blonde sitting on his bed, who had occupied himself with throwing a ball up at the ceiling. He didn’t bother to look at Jim when he asked him the question and that irritated him.

“You get lonely without me.” The blonde replied and Jim noticed the grin on his face. “I do not get lonely. Just piss off and go home already.” Jim replied.

Sebastian had been around for as long as he could remember and honestly, Jim probably would have gone mad if it weren’t for him. He had no friends and his parents never had time for him. Sebastian had appeared at his gate one day and had been around almost everyday ever since.

It was a pity Sebastian went to another school, but now that they were nearing graduation, Jim figured he could talk Sebastian into going to the same university. Though he had to figure out how to tell/force him without seeming too desperate. 

“You’re staring again.” Sebastian’s voice pulled Jim from his thoughts and Jim knew he must have looked somewhat confused by the way Sebastian laughed at him. He glared but the blonde only laughed harder. His chemistry book flew to the bed, but Sebastian had seen it coming and dodged it.

Sebastian knew him so well. He could always see when something was wrong and always managed to cheer Jim up somehow. Without him, Jim wouldn’t have been where he was now.

“You’re a dick.”  
“And you’re funny.”

Sebastian wore an obnoxious smile, one that looked incredible good on him but so fucking annoying at the same time.  
He watched the blonde get on his feet, hands slipping in his pockets before he made his way to the window. “Well, best get going before you hurl more books at me.” He spoke.

“Sebastian.” Blue eyes were on him and Jim stayed silent for a while. “Have you decided where you’re going after graduation?” He asked, noting the look Sebastian had in his eyes.

There were times that Sebastian looked sad, but he would never tell Jim what was bothering him. The brunette had figured it must’ve been his family as they were very strict with Sebastian.  
“I haven’t. Not yet.”

“Time’s ticking away, Seb.”  
“I know.”

Jim frowned and clenched his fist as he watched his friend for a while longer. “You’re never going to get away from your family if you don’t do it now, Seb! I’m doing it! I’m going to University and I’m never coming back here..! So-.. So you should come with me.”

Sebastian didn’t seem to react to Jim’s words and that irritated Jim even more. Jim didn’t plan on ever going back to that place, where everyone hated him. He wouldn’t even have returned for the only person who didn’t hate him.  
“I’m not coming back for you.. So you should come with me.”

Blue eyes never left his brown ones and Jim felt helpless. Sebastian wasn’t going with him, he could see it.

“I want to come with you.” Sebastian finally spoke and he spoke the truth, Jim knew that. Sebastian never lied to him and if he tried, Jim would notice. He’d been around Sebastian long enough to know when the blonde was lying and at some point, the blonde had just stopped lying to him. There was no point anyway.

“Then come with me, or you’ll never see me again.” At the words, Sebastian didn’t flinch like Jim had hoped he would. That was rather disappointing as that would’ve been the reaction Jim would have given if it had been the other way around. 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

I’ll see what I can do. The words were stabbing into him over and over again as Jim lay in bed. Sebastian had left right after, not saying anything and not looking back as he had left the house. Maybe Sebastian didn’t care as much for Jim as Jim did for him? Though that wouldn’t explain his daily behaviour. Sebastian was honest and he always seemed to enjoy himself when they were together.

The feeling kept nagging on Jim and he wasn’t able to let it go. Never.

Weeks moved by and he and Sebastian never spoke of the matter again. Not even when graduation came and Jim was packing his things. It surprised him that Sebastian climbed through the window that night.

He only gave him a confused glance before he continued packing his things. The next day he would have leave for University to never return. He would leave his only friend behind, who had already abandoned him by not going with him. A selfish thought, he was aware, but that was how he felt.

“I tried, Jim. I really tried.” Sebastian spoke after a moment of silence. Jim looked up and saw his friend was telling him a lie. He didn’t respond, but packed his bag with more force, incredibly angry with Sebastian.

The blonde must had noticed as he kept his mouth shut and seemed to be trying to find the right words for a situation like that. But there wasn’t anything Sebastian could have said to get Jim to forgive him. Because the brunette was stubborn and truly hurt.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. Before my parents wake up. I don’t want them to say goodbye or something.”  
Sebastian didn’t say anything but only nodded. He understood Jim’s reasons. “So when I leave tomorrow, you won’t ever see me again.”

Again a nod and Jim bit on his lower lip. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was Sebastian, who always had some kind of quick remark, not laughing at him now? Ruffling his hair and telling he’d never get rid of him like he always did? Why was his friend looking at him with such an expression, as if he was telling him a lie without saying anything? Why was Sebastian, his only friend whom he had loved for so long, not telling him what Jim needed to hear so desperately?

Jim could taste blood from biting his lip too hard and he realised they had been standing in silence for a while. That was it. He turned around, not wanting Sebastian to see his weak side, even though the blonde had seen it so many times before.

“Go away. I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

There was no response and when Jim turned around again, Sebastian was gone.

\--

The following morning Jim loaded his bags in the cab. It wasn’t much, two bags with clothes and his favourite books. He wished he had a picture of Sebastian as well, but his friend never wanted to take one. Claiming he never looked good in one. Now, he would have never seen him again and Jim hoped he wouldn’t forget his face. And that Sebastian wouldn’t forget his either.

He got in the cab and turned his head to look at the house where he had lived for so long. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to look back. He hated that house, but for some reason he did look and his eyes widened when he saw Sebastian standing at the gate.

The blonde stood there, smiling sadly as the cab drove off. His hand lifting up slowly as he waved at Jim, his mouth moving and Jim’s eyes widening when he read the words forming on his lips. 

Then, Sebastian vanished.

Jim blinked, confused. Rubbing his eyes again.  
Sebastian had just disappeared, right before his eyes. Vanished into thin air. And for the first time in his life, Jim couldn’t figure out what had happened.

\--

The following weeks went by quickly, between classes Jim was doing loads of research and it took him some time to finally figure out who Sebastian Moran was.

He wasn’t his childhood friend who lived in some house in the same town as Jim lived. No Sebastian Moran was a man who had died several years before. A colonel with a dishonourable discharge after many years of loyal service. A man who had fought and killed a tiger. A ghost, who had kept Jim company when he needed it most. Jim wouldn’t have believed it, if it hadn't been for the photos of Sebastian he had found.

The first chance he got, Jim went to see where the man was buried. It wasn’t a fancy graveyard, nor was it a fancy grave. Sebastian had no current relatives alive, nor had he had any when he died. 

Jim must’ve been the first one to bring flowers and when he placed them he just stood there and watched the headstone in silence.

“You’re a dick.” He murmured, fingers digging into the palms of his hands. He stood by the grave for a while, secretly hoping that he’d see Sebastian again. But he never showed his face.

Years passed and Jim went on. Often he would visit the grave, bring flowers and sit down to talk. He could always speak to Sebastian and he wasn’t planning on giving that up. He told the headstone everything that was going on. And when he wasn’t by the grave, he spoke to the picture in his wallet.

A picture of his childhood friend. His best friend. And the one he loved.

\--

He stood on the roof, scanning his surroundings with a bored expression. You’d think shooting yourself in the head and waking up next to your body would be somewhat more entertaining. But it seemed death was going to be just as boring as life was.

“You didn’t have to shoot yourself in the face.”

The voice came unexpected, but it didn’t startle Jim. Instead he smiled and looked over his shoulder, shrugging as he walked towards the blonde that had appeared behind him.

“Well, you left me no choice didn’t you? How else was I going to tell you?”  
“Tell me what?”

His mouth quirked into a smile as he stood before the blonde, looking into those blue eyes.

“I love you too.”


End file.
